Grandma!

I was riding my bike around downtown yesterday during the superbowl,it was a great day to get out. As I was riding, I swung by the capitol because of all the different trees they have in the park that surrounds the building.

I was walking through and saw two different ladies seated in the park writing. When I passed I remembered my grandma on my mom's side. Italian from Jersey. For some reason, I felt compelled to smell the trees, almost as if I had to show off a little to these women. The funniest thing happened, I couldn't smell the first tree, so in a panic, as I continued my walk by because we are not allowed to ride bikes in this park, I stopped to smell the next tree. It was a different tree but the same species. It had a differnt color bloom and I was able to smell the bud this time. It was very sweet, almost old too. It reminded me of the smell of my grandmother.

It was at that point that I realized that my grandmother was the one that helped me enjoy this day. If it was not for our mid afternoon walks that we took when I was younger, I don't think I would know what I was doing in this park. I mean, I have this nice Gary Fisher mountian bike that I can ride anywhere, it is not a road bike; and, I ride it anywhere I can. I could be seated at a coffee house or anywhere where girls roam showing off my bike, but I don't.

There is this celestial feeling of doing the greater cause. In a case where you are alone, you do things closest to you. In my case, I feel closest to nature, when I am alone. And, I was lead to the park on my own will, but thank you to my grandma, I was able to thank her and respect her a little bit more.

Will this build my spiritual realtionship with her, or help me feel closer to God, I do not know. Time will tell. I already feel like I had a great relationship with my deceased grandmother, and I feel like I am a part of God everyday, so then what is the real answers here?

I feel, now, maybe if it was not for my grandmother, I would not see the constant positivity in nature, I certainly know who I learned hwo to use nature for my health benefits from; but consistency? Grandma's everyday nature walks to see horses! fruits! and experience!

Second, I get to talk about it now. Any experience on the computer where you can type and speak is exceptional. Why? Today, we are closer to misunderstanding these things. I feel there is a relationship between perfection and words and imperfection and words. There almost seems to be this spiritual connection with trying to be on the good side. Flow is different. Flow is everyday. So, the more comforatble I am with flow, the happier I will be.

Thank you grandma for giving my a reason to speak today, Lord, thank you for grandma and myself, and thank you for being!

Proud to be human

My life has been a willow in the making, never sure what to expect in the end, I do know that one day my bloom will hopefully provide comfort like a beautiful willow tree can do; however, today, I am not feeling it, only the wind ripping through it. Today, I hope to change it and the same time feel the wind calm down.

I reopenned this blogspoy with somethings and some people in mind. I hope this will never negatively affect relationships with anyone, if I knew it would, I would not start writing. With that said, yes I am aware of the fear I pose. Today is a new day, even though it is late in the evening, I am going to stare down and see what stirs up. It is time to take control.

My life has been full of adventure. I am not your typical Indiana Jones, however I do still jones. I feel my son is the only person who knows me and he is only three.

This blog will not be to alliviate pain, currently I am not around my son to raise him, my pain is under control though. I pray, talk, listen, chi, yoga, walk, run, bike, recreate, what am I missing but money? Okay, so back to me. I am an adventurer. I do not seek for pleasures, nor treasures. I seek for knowledge and truths, love, wisdom, trustworths, and paths. I am migrating to a place where I can hang my hat, safe from haters and killers, get my son. and those who wish to follow.

There are many people today who will kill for money and power, I wish to continue to not be like them. You need help, I am there with wht little I can provide. Politicians and artist alike only give you what they believe is right for their own interest, I say, keep their opinions close. They are all the same, expression of the mind, expression of their opinion, what are they really thinking? I have battled to know what is true and what is not nice. I know killing someone for their money is never good. This could be healthcare, lobbyist and governement, gansters, anything you can think of, and it is not very nice. Is this life so crazy that we must truly listen to the music we choose to play and make sure it is safe to trust? Where did we have to begin to question our leaders? Shakespeare was love, was Marley? Mafia's protect home, does the military too?

Without money you will die? I am only begging to understand that. If I work, do I contribute to the mess?

There are arguments as to whether work is good for the soul or is money all that really matters when it comes to a job. When did we forget that we work with our soul in mind? My soul says to work hard and protect those that I can, and find a team that works best together, because I can't do this alone. Today I am left to defend my family's honor, my honor! and what is left of what we call pride! pride of a human.

So, with little actually said thus far, I would like to start by analyzing some music. I use Pandora and it is great. This post is not an endorsement. On my screen is Cage the Elephant, called, Aint no rest for the Wicked. Here lies my issue. Does that mean something, anything, nothing, everything? Its late, am I a wicked? I am dicussing elephants in society. Is this God speaking through the universe He built? Or is this directed from what we call aliens via neuro/electrics and waves?

There is either lots of confusion, or no confusion at all and ride the wave. I am riding the wave, but is it right?

I am not confused